Adventures of That Guy and His Pet Midget
by AnimeAddicts7
Summary: Some random shiz I wrote at 3AM because of something my friend said. Might add more idk.


**I'm back early bitches.**

The infernal shrieking was growing louder by the minute. I was beginnin' to think it was coming from the HQ, because of whenever we made our way closer, our ears broke more.

"D'ya think them lousy heroes found us out, boss?" My partner, Harison, yelled over the horrible noise. I didn't answer him, mostly because I had no fuckin' clue what he had said, though he took my silence as a 'yes' and quickened his pace while tightening his grip on his trusty shotgun. That shotgun had won our gang a number of battles. It had blood on its nonexistent hands. We all loved it dearly for that, though not as much as it's owner did. My buddy, Clem, swore he heard the guy fucking it one night. Harison slapped me back to alert by slapping me in the chest with the barrel of his shotgun as a signal to stop. We were at the edge of the alley near the entrance to our HQ, which was disguised as a furniture shop. He flattened himself against the wall and motioned for me to do the same. I didn't know why until I heard the cop sirens. I took a risk and peeked around the corner to see if my suspicion was correct. It sadly was. What I saw was my pals and underlings in handcuffs bein' shoved into a cop car. What I also saw was that damned, noisy-ass hero, Present Mic. I turned away from the scene in disgust. That pompous bastard didn't deserve to be a hero, and I would just love to forcefully shoot him off of that high horse he's ridin', yet it would be pointless to do so. It'd probably just end up gettin' Harison and me tossed into a cell. Damn. I scuffed the tip of my shoe on the ground and turned to leave.

"C'mon. We better get out of here," I mumbled. Harison lit a cigarette, mumbling about 'trash pro hero' and 'no loyalty', which I ignored. This wasn't gonna go unnoticed. I could promise that.

"That plan fuckin sucks, boss. I mean that offensively," Harison growls after I told him my genius plan. I shot him a glare.

"What about it isn't full-proof?" I asked. I didn't much take kindly to criticism, the others usually just went along with anything as long as they got some bloodshed out of it. They rarely did, but they still stuck around. Well, except for Sally. Sally's a bitch.

"For one thing, that dumbass dude isn't a bird! You can't turn him into a chair unless he's an animal!"

"Mammals are animals,"

"No they ain't!"

"Yes they are!"

"Whatever dumbass,"

"Yeah, whatever. That dude definitely has some type of bird in his blood though,"

"How d'you figure?"

"He's loud, annoying, and whenever I see his stupid face, I want to burn it,"

"Sounds about right,"

"But as a backup plan, you'll also be there to get him. We can't fail!"

"'less U.A gets us with its fancy new security,"

"We'll figur that out along the way,"

"Fine. But if we get caught, I'll tear off your left arm, dipshit,"

"I don't doubt that you would, that's why we won't get caught,"

"Let's go then,"

"Now?"

"Yes now shit for brains! It's almost night,"

I looked at my partner. He wore an expression of someone who was stone cold serious. I liked his idea. If it was night we were less likely to be spotted. I nodded. Yeah. This would work. Harison took that as our time to leave. He hopped off the pile of boxes he was sitting on. Cocking his shotgun, he stepped out into the deserted streets, with me on his tail.

U.A wasn't exactly far away, seven blocks at most, we arrived in ten minutes time. Harison stared up at the huge wall that separated us from our goal. He slowly set down his prized shotgun and beckoned me over. I took a step forward. Harison wasted no time. He wrapped his short, thick arms around my waist and yeeted me upwards. Not one to second guess my second in command, much that is, I only flailed slightly, before landing on my feet on the top of the wall. He jumped up by himself seconds later. I didn't think someone as small as him could scale a massive wall like that. I told him so. He told me to fuck off before his shotgun finds its way up my ass and he accidently pulls the trigger. I shut my mouth. Suddenly, Harrison's eyes widened and he lowered himself against the wall. I followed his gaze, a bit confused, but I understood why he ducked down soon enough. I did the same. Present Mic. That damn cockatoo lookin' ass hero was pacing just below us. What, was he really on some kinda patrol tonight? Our luck was incredible. Harison made a peace sign with his fingers, pointed it at his eyes then at the hero, he made the fingers run along the wall and did a little jump. I gave him a thumbs up. He would jump onto the heroes shoulders while I snuck up behind him. I would use my quirk on him, and if it didn't work, Harison would be there to use his immediately. The shotgun was plan C. Harison acknowledged my agreement and took quick action.He jumped down, landing right on the mark.

"What the-" Harison batted and scratched at Present Mic's face to get him to shut up. I watched them struggle for two minutes before going down. Mic didn't notice me on account of the angry midget on top of him. I tapped the dumb hero on the shoulder, my quirk fully activated. Nothing happened. Mic spun around after managing to shove Harison off of him.

"Who are you?" He demanded. I stood up tall, in the most threatening pose I could.

"I am the leader of the Appliance Gang," I said.

"Ohhh! I thought I jailed all you guys? Well, you're trespassing on school grounds, so I'm gonna have to sound the alarm,"

I grinned. Too late. Harison had made his way behind Present Mic.

"Gotcha," Harison smacked Mic across the face. I cheered and gave Harison a high-five, tried to give a high-five, he really just flipped me off.

"You ain't a kid," He muttered. Anyways, our plan worked perfectly. Laying across the ground, where Mic used to be standing, was a large arm chair, with a six foot tall back.

"Weird-ass chair," I commented.

"No shit. He was a weird-ass guy,"

"And now, he's a chair,"

"Let's get out of here," Harison started toward the chair. He reached out to grab it when something wrapped around his arm.

"The fuck?" He screamed. "Is that a fuckin' tongue?!"

I looked around wildly. Who could have…

"Turn him back!" Someone yelled from the darkness. All of the sudden, twenty children flew out of the shadows.

"Who… The hell… Are these pricks?!" Harison yelled as he wrestled with the pink tongue wrapped around his wrist, whose source was a green haired girl who looked pretty mad. The girls tongue zipped back into her mouth with ferocity. Harison growled and pulled his shotgun off his back with his now free arm. Hell nah.

"Hey, put that gun down! You can't shoot a bunch of kids!" I chided him.

"Yeah? Says who?"

"Everything!"

"Hey! Villains!" A kid shouted, turning my attention to said child. A small boy with messy green hair, lime sparks covered his body. "We aren't just any kids! We… are class 1-A!"

Harison scoffed. "And that's supposed to scare us?"

"We are from the Appliance Gang!"

"The name's Couchinator, and this is our leader…"

"Steve the Chair Whisperer!"

All twenty kids stood silently for a moment, only to break out of their battle poses seconds later and fall onto the ground, laughing hysterically.

"What are you shitheads laughing at?!?!" Harison screeched over the roaring laughter.

"Sorry! But those are actually your names?" A yellow haired boy burst.

"You've got to be kidding!"

"What kind of names are those?"

"I can't take you guys seriously anymore!"

"Shove it brats or we'll make you into chairs like your dear hero here!" I threatened. When they quieted, I thought that I had finally managed to scare them, but…

"Um.. Sir? Is your quirk… making people into chairs?" one kid struggled to ask, out of fear no doubt.

"Hell yeah it is! And my shotgun here's quirk is making people into corpses, so you step aside and let us grab that chair!" Harison said with a murderous tone. I was wrong. The children weren't threatened. With Harison's words, they fell into laughter again.

"Forget your shotgun! You'll kill us with laughter!"

It looked like Harison was about to explode.

"Damn brats! Listen 'ere! We are dangerous criminals! Y-You should fear us! We are no jokes!" He screamed, veins bulging in his forehead. I stared forward in shock. I had never been laughed at. Never. What was happening? Was I not threatening enough? Did I do something wrong? While I was thinking these things, I noticed a boy with engines in his legs, casually walking toward the group of kids. He whispered something to another kid who nodded her head and whispered to the green haired boy. The hell? I nudged my partner. He didn't notice and continued yelling. I nudged him harder. Finally, he spun around to face me. Though I was a good three feet taller than him, he loomed over me.

"What." He growled.

"We need to leave," I muttered.

"Why? Are you scared of some kids?"

"No, but-"

"And anyways, we can't leave without the chair! They can turn him back with a healing quirk, dipshit!"

"Oh, really now?"

Oh shit. A girl smirked at the two of us from the crowd. She twirled a flesh colored string thing on her finger.

"So, your quirk can be reversed with a healing quirk. Did you hear that, Recovery Girl?"

Oh shit. Oh shit. Out of the dark, behind the students, emerged the famed Recovery Girl, followed by heroes Snipe, Ectoplasm, and some guy with messy black hair and a big-ass scarf that I didn't recognize.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit.

"Can we split now, dipshit?"

"Yep,"


End file.
